White House officials announced the recent gas price fluctuations were due to the President “unintentionally modifying price variables”. The embarrassed press secretary disclosed to the press late Wednesday. “Many of our primary economic functions have been migrated to electronic management, of which fuel and energy prices are as well. This electronic system communicates with energy […]
Continue ReadingThe newly elected San Fransisco District Attorney has exclusively clued us in as to why this office historically and even still continues to not prosecute the majority of cases. The answer is actually far more complex than we would have imagined. New San Francisco DA Brooke Jenkins reveals the multiple key reasons why over 90% […]
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Gov. Greg Abbott announced Tuesday that he will end Texas’ unnecessary laws statewide next week and will allow all Texans to chose between what is right and wrong. “People and businesses don’t need the state telling them how to operate” Abbot stated over twitter. This means going forward literally any action is up to you […]
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Providence, RI. – Rhode Island officials decided at 5pm EST 6/29/2018 that the state should formally split into 3 smaller states. “Our state is great. There is only one way to become greater, and that is becoming a part of a collective of the 3 smallest states!”, stated Governor Raimondo Friday evening at a press […]
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Conservative officials announced their latest pick for an important capital office. An old racist white male. The old racist white male will be assuming office later this July with much fan fair and praise from President Trump and his cabinet. They are expected to lay monumental progress to breaking down the opposing parties legislation. Not […]
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Washington D.C. – Unbeknownst to himself a senior politician began making statements that no one could validate. When called upon to explain the sources he simply replied “There isn’t really a reason for you to make claims against this”. The primary political analysts with years of experience working in this line of politics simply state this […]
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